Just call me PHAT!!

That's right!  I said it!  Instead of "FAT"...I am PHAT!!  A.k.a Pretty Hot And Tempting!
Why am I typing this out, you might ask?
It was brought to my attention over the weekend that I need to start changing my outlook, not just on life; on everything.

So from here on out...I'll start with my outlook on two things that really tend to get me down.
1. My appearance
2. My personal life...as far as, people I interact with, my finances and where I'm heading in my life.

With those things I am going to try REALLY hard on improving and improving how I view everything that contains those things.  One of the reasons I am doing this is because when I am not happy, I tend to eat with my emotions and when I eat with my emotions, I don't make good food choices and I tend to over eat.  Here are a few examples, that are also my confessions for the week...

Earlier this past week I was feeling really down on myself and just life in general.  This kind of thinking started to stress me out.  So, what was the first thing I did?  Grab a spoon, the peanut butter jar, the nutella jar and the maple syrup and dig in...  Yeah.  I ate those things, mixed together.  Why?  I can't answer that completely...mainly because I'm still trying to figure out myself why I reach for the junk food when I'm having a bad day...but I just know what I did was wrong and it's something I have been struggling with lately.  It is also something I know I need to change.
I also felt VERY ashamed to have to add that to my food log I am sharing with both my friends, Catherine and Cassandra.  I feel like I really dropped the ball on myself and the ball on them.  I promised both of them I would be honest and I was, but I feel like when I eat that way I am disrespecting not only myself, but them as well.  My eating like crap and adding it to my food log is like a waste of time for them.  They are both trying REALLY hard to stay on the ball and stay healthy and I am stumbling behind.  :o(  It makes me sad to think that I let myself feel that this type of eating behavior was completely okay at the time.

And if one time wasn't bad enough, I made the same mistake again last night. :o(
I had more junk food really late last night and I have been paying for it ALL day today.  My body and my acid reflux are both REALLY angry at me.  I realized in the midst of eating that crappy food that what I was doing was wrong, yet again.  But for some reason, I don't stop.
When I act this way and eat this way, it is like I am telling myself that I don't love myself enough to feed my body good, healthy food.
Maybe that is the problem here...I don't love myself enough.  I hide behind the shadow of something and whatever that shadow is, it is crushing my total being.  It is keeping me from being my best and keeping me from living up to my full potential.  I waste so much time doubting myself, that I could be using that time to build upon myself...to tear down unnecessary walls that shouldn't be there and build a newer, stronger structure.  I can't change my foundation, because that stems from my childhood and how I was raised, but I can tear down the structure and renew and upgrade it.  That is something I definitely need to do.

From now on, I am going to TRY (because I might make more mistakes before I reach my success) to make better decisions all around...in food and in life in general.
So far I think this is the best decision I've made yet! haha!!

SO, here's to good, healthy decisions and I hope you can make some good, healthy decisions too!

THANK YOU FOR READING!!