Mmmm....FOOD!!

"Mmmm...FOOD!!" is exactly what my body tells me when I'm hungry, when I'm not hungry, when I'm stressed and when I'm depressed.  And I ALWAYS give in!!

Today was my first test of that....it was a pretty big struggle.  I had NO idea how addicted to food I have become!  It's actually pretty scary!  Some people say, "Food is my drug of choice".  I never really realized how food CAN really be a drug if you aren't careful.  You can actually go through with drawls, too!  That is something I experienced about an hour ago...

It all started with a REALLY delicious, I think, healthy lunch.  I had a small chicken salad with 1/2 medium size chicken, 1 1/2 red leaf lettuce, 5 cucumber slices, 1/2 small tomato, and 2 1/2 tablespoons blue cheese dressing.  That is actually 1/2 more than the "recommended amount" on the back of the bottle.  I was only really supposed to have 2 tablespoons.  I realized later, after I mixed my salad up, that 2 tablespoons would have sufficed.  But, I know better for next time.

Anyway, I tried to slow down and take my time, but I feel like I ate it a little too quickly.  I felt like I had to keep up with my husband's speed since he came home from work for lunch.  With that being said, after I ate, I made my husband a smoothie to take with him for a snack at work and that's when the addiction feeling kicked in.

I added all the ingredients, one being peanut butter.  I couldn't resist licking the peanut butter off my finger, after I scooped it into the blender.  After that first initial taste of peanut butter (which I'm not supposed to have because of my hypothyroidism) I was hooked!  I wanted more and A LOT more of it!  I took another tiny swipe of the jar with my finger so I could taste the deliciousness of the forbidden food.  I smelled the peanut butter, saw the leftover banana peel, the sandwhich my husband was making for work and I snapped into "GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!" mode.  I had a weird affect that lasted for about an hour.  I started getting shaky.  Kind of like how an alcoholic gets shaky when they don't have a drink or kind of like how a drug addict shakes when they need a fix.  I literally had to sit down on the couch, take some deep breaths and compose myself.  I drank some water and tried not to think about the food; which was REALLY hard!  My brain just kept saying, "Come on...eat something else...who cares?  You're hungry, you want more...just do it!"  But I fought back, thinking, "No!  If I can resist this, then I would be SO proud of myself!"

So, I got up from the couch, helped my husband finish getting his things for work and for his class after work.  I cleaned the kitchen from the lunch items.  Kissed my husband good-bye. 
Sat down at my desk here and started blogging.  So, here I am an hour later...drinking water, blogging and my shakes are gone.  I just needed the mind and will power to focus on something else.  But you know what?  As I stood there making my husband's smoothie, toward the climax of the addiction feeling...I remember what I read in a blog my friend, Catherine had wrote.  She said, about over eating, "One very effective tool is to tell myself, "Stop, you will get to eat again very soon. If you wait to eat this, you will enjoy it twice as much because you won't feel guilty." And all the sudden 2 hours go by so fast and I get to eat again & not having the guilt factor is so worth it!! The regret ways us down. We don't have time for it."  
So, I said to myself.... "Don't worry tummy; you'll eat again very soon...in a couple of hours."  Thank you, Catherine!  You helped me get over a VERY big hurtle!  I am SO proud of myself for not giving in and you know what?  I don't even feel hungry right now...which is the best part! :o) 

During my time of weakness, I even remember telling my husband, "I forgot how good peanut butter tastes..." while I was licking it off my finger, fully aware that I shouldn't be eating it.  It's amazing how strong the power of certain things can be.  But what is more amazing, is how strong we can be when we have the will power to fight it off and how proud we feel after doing so.

**For effective tools on how to stop over eating, please check out my friend's blog.  It really helped me and hopefully it will help you!
Catherine's Blog: http://catherinewalkerhart.blogspot.com/2009/09/but-i-just-cant-resist-it.html